“Normal” is different for Military Families and youth.
For Military youth and their Families, the first step towards understanding and building greater resilience is recognizing that the circumstances and stressors they face are different from their peers. Deployments and reassignments can make it necessary for youth to relocate, change schools, and adjust to new and sometimes difficult situations. As a mentor, recognizing that these situations are normal for Military youth and their Families can help you develop a positive mindset focused on the strengths of the Family to rise to the challenge and cope with the situation.
Additional research has demonstrated that events or circumstances that are unexpected, serious, or unwelcome, and/or involve long-term suffering are likely to be more challenging, especially when the Family’s resources or protective factors are not sufficient to handle the stress caused by a traumatic event.
Mentors are a first line of support for Military youth.
Research shows that supportive, positive relationships with teachers and other adults can compensate for a child’s lack of quality parental relationships. In the event that a parent is absent, either by loss or deployment, a mentor can work to identify gaps in the youth’s current protective factors and help youth build on existing strengths to develop new protective factors and problem solving skills. Ultimately, this greater resilience will allow youth and their families to better cope with adversity of all types.
Mentors can be on the lookout for opportunities to support youth and Military Families.
The most important factor for building and maintaining resiliency in youth is high-quality parenting. Youth benefit from and need the warmth and responsiveness of their parents. In the home, they also benefit from supervision, clear standards, and routines and rituals that are maintained even during times of stress or adversity. It’s especially important to remember that teens, despite the fact that they’re almost adults themselves, still greatly benefit from parenting oversight. Research on parenting has shown that children are more likely to show resilience when parents exhibit optimism, flexibility, initiative, and effective coping skills.
Of course, parents also require support in order to be strong and compassionate toward their children. When a mentor recognizes that a youth and her family are going through a tough time, the mentor can offer support to the youth and try to connect the family with additional resources and supports in the community. It is crucial for parents to maintain their own well-being—especially if one parent remains at home while the other is deployed—and the effects of this trickle down to the well-being of the youth. One way to identify resources is to seek out peer and social networks (friends, neighbors, extended family members, etc.) that can lend vital support.