Understand the different developmental phases of youth.
There are four basic phases of development:
- Infants and toddlers: ages 0-3
- Young children: ages 3-6
- School-age children: ages 6-12
- Adolescents: ages 12-18
Ages 0 – 3:
Infants and toddlers spend their time learning about the world around them. They are developing physically—learning to walk, talk, and interact with their environment—as well as emotionally—experiencing happiness, sadness, discomfort, etc. As a child ages, he begins to engage in physical activity such as running, moving, and games.
Ages 3 – 6:
Young children are more interested in processes than final products, and do not focus on finishing anything. They are naturally curious and try to make sense of their experiences. They expend a lot of energy running around, and often try experimenting within their environment.
Ages 6 – 12:
School-age children are active and begin to develop socially. They have interests that sometimes change rapidly, but need guidance in order to achieve their best performance. They are aware of older boys and girls, and often mimic or admire them. They ask many questions and need recognition for doing good work.
Ages 12 – 18:
Adolescents have high social needs and desires. Their peer group becomes very influential, and they begin to focus on coed opportunities. Their identity is emerging and they are beginning to understand who they are. In this stage, they reach high levels of abstract thinking and problem solving, and as a result, begin to develop a sense of responsibility.
Youth behavior and emotional responses are interconnected.
Although each child is different, there are various responses to stress that children in each age group typically exhibit. Infants and toddlers may respond with regression or excessive crying and screaming. For example, a potty trained child may return to bedwetting or needing a diaper. Young children may also regress and engage in bedwetting, tantrums, and crying. School-age children may experience developmental delays, eating and sleeping problems, school and learning problems, and regression. Adolescents can be extremely complicated with reactions ranging from violent outbursts to silent withdrawal. Their responses may include mood swings, self-destructive behaviors, anger and aggression, withdrawal, physical symptoms such as headaches and sleeping and eating difficulties, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, depression, and identity confusion.
The deployment of a parent may draw out any combination of these responses, so it is important to be able to understand and normalize their feelings of loss. Behavior is a form of communication, and a mentor can help his mentee recognize that all feelings are normal and that by talking them out, she can avoid “acting them out.”
Behavior is a form of communication.
Youth express their emotions through various behaviors. For example, externalized emotions may appear as physically or verbally aggressive behavior, but may mask underlying feelings of desperation and sadness. This is why some children and adolescents become violent and begin to act out when they experience sadness or loss. On the other hand, internalized emotions can be more difficult to identify. A child or adolescent may appear calm and reserved on the outside, but may begin to exhibit symptoms such as headaches or stomachaches. These physical symptoms mask underlying feelings of depression or anxiety. A great deal of communication occurs in the nonverbal realm. Many kids do not know ways to verbalize their emotions, so instead of talking about their feelings, they begin to act them out. Encourage your mentee to talk about his feelings.